That wretch, Lepidus

First of all, I would like to congratulate all of you. Declaring that wretch Lepidus “Enemy of the State” is the most plausible as well as the most just decision we have yet to make here recently. However, I am bewildered! How can we publicly declare the man as a threatening enemy to our glorious state, and then suddenly decide to go back to discussing matter about Brutus, who we have already proved to be right in his actions? By discussing what to do with Brutus immediately after we declared Lepidus our enemy we are turning our back to our most immediate threat, which (as the vast majority of us know through military experience) can be fatal. Have we not already discussed this matter in detail? Caesar was a tyrant, therefore Brutus rightfully dealt with him the only way we Romans know how to deal with a tyrant: kill him! And for those of you, who propose to put our brave savior on trial, should reconsider. Brutus is praetor right now and as a member of the magistry, he is hereby unable to be tried until his term is over. If you argue that Brutus should be removed because tyrannical Caesar put him in his power, than perhaps you should take a long look at yourselves and recall that the vast majority of you too were put into power by tyrannical Caesar. Further, by claiming that “tyrannical Caesar” is the reason Brutus got his position as praetor (as Gaius Julius Caesar stated), you are additionally claiming that Caesar is a tyrant, therefore Brutus’ killing of Caesar is, once again, justified. Therefore, I propose a most rational and simple conclusion: general amnesty, so we can move on to the more urgent matter of Lepidus.

Now, for the first time today, I address an issue of actual relevance to Rome’s immediate safety: what must be done about Lepidus, now that he is “Enemy of the State.” Let me remind you of Lepidus’ last words: “If you are truly Romans, rise to bloody and just action. If, however, you want to play the Greek, then sit around and discuss the rights and wrongs of this action, philosophize, and fornicate with little boys, go ahead; you will get no sympathy from me. You will see my opinions through my actions.” This man clearly has evil intentions against us, and with a formidable legion under his command, I ask why we hesitate? I hate to say it, senators, but it is clear he intends to march on Rome. That wretch took a legion of our beloved citizens, and even buried Caesar on his own, screwing you Caesarians out of your public funeral wishes. We as a senate, for the first time, shall unite in our stance against Lepidus unanimously. I fear that Lepidus intends to persuade our neighboring allies against us with the intent of isolating and surrounding us. As we all know, this must not happen. I propose that we send embassies to all our neighboring allies immediately and make sure that they pledge allegiance to us. We must remind them that they are allies with the greatest empire, the greatest senate, and the greatest citizens in the world. We shall make it known that Lepidus will have to take on the entire western world, if seeks vengeance upon us. If we find Lepidus, I propose we immediately arrest him and bring him to trial here in Rome, and let justice be done, once again, to our criminals.