BREAKING NEWS: CAESAR'S WILL IS READ!

JULIUS CAESAR’S WILL

"After legacies have been paid, Gaius Octavius inherits 3/4th of my estate, and Lucius Pinarius and Quintus Pedius inherit 1/8th each. I leave to the people of Rome my gardens across the Tiber and 3 aurii to each free born citizen in Rome. Decimus Brutus and Marcus Antonius shall be heirs in the second degree. I adopt Gaius Octavius as my son provided that Calpurnia produces no legitimate male heir."

The Tiber River: My proposal for Caesar's burial place

Today is a great day, my fellow senators. The gods have cast good fortune on this most beautiful and blessed city in the world, for we have been saved. Our happiness has been restored, and our fears, diminished. It is on this day that Rome has been released from its tyrannical chains. Finally, we are able to retreat back to the democratic ideals that made this empire so vast. Finally, the end has come for that dictator; finally, the end has come to his oppression, and finally, he will suffer in the underworld, forever, for there is no room for absolutism in this distinguished regime.
Now in order to address the issue of what to do with the dead tyrant’s body, we must take a step back and think. I have been informed of the dreadful possibility of a public burial and I respond with reason, as we all should: what does this city do with the dead body of any criminal who had committed himself to obstructing the justice and laws of this great democracy? We seek that justice be done to those who obstruct it. Do you not remember enforcing justice upon Catiline’s conspirators, by voting death upon them? Do you not remember that it was our very own tyrant leader, who supported Cataline in his quest for consulship in 64? Do you not recall the day that he marched his legions on Rome? Do you not remember that it was he, who seized the very power that was once delegated to each of you? We all bear witness to the fact that at a time when we needed our leader the most, he deserted us and headed east for his own glory. When it was his obligation to protect us, he abandoned us. His arrogance knew no limits. His hunger for power would never be quenched, even as sole dictator of our beloved empire. And yet, the thought of publicly praising him does not overcome you with disgust? Most wise men of Rome, let not the voice of reason be out of reach! How can we vote death for one criminal rand honorable praise for an even worse one? By agreeing to public funeral, we are praising the same criminal who robbed you of your power and Rome of its democratic dignity. I am most certainly against any sort of public burial, since I fear that the tyrant’s criminal blood may infect, or somehow curse the eyes of these most loyal citizens. Must we expose our friends, our children, our wives, and our brothers to such an evil carcass? Must we celebrate the decaying body of a thief who stole Rome’s liberty? My heart bursts with admiration for this democratic city, and if we display honor to that deceased criminal, our allies will view us as hypocrites. Thus, tell me, o conscript fathers, do you wish to be subject to hypocrisy? Do you wish to be mocked by our allies, our friends in war and in trade? Do you wish Rome’s honor to fall subject to the world’s ridicule? So let us prevent such hypocrisy, such mockery, such ridicule, such dishonor from falling upon this noble city. Let us treat the body of the tyrant in the same manner in which we treat all deceased criminals: toss his body into the Tiber; for the Tiber is the only place that can cleanse the evil soul of dead thieves, conspirators, and cleanse Rome of criminal injustice.

A queen appalled...

Senators,
What…are…you…doing?
As I stood listening at the edge of the Senate House today I became incensed. Our great Caesar is dead, and all any of you Caesarians can do is sit their silently while that treacherous dog, Brutus, barks out insults and lies. Brutus speaks of courage! Look who stands by him now! Hypocrites! Sycophants! And not one who took up a dagger and aided in that vicious slaughter! Instead, these men sat back until the job was done for them. Brutus calls you weak and scared, recalling how you fled the Senate House when Caesar’s body was mangled. Remember, and remind Brutus, that you are still here. You were not ones to betray the law of gods and men and brandish weapons in the Senate House. You are alive, and you will not let that horrible deed go unpunished!
Yet, you all say nothing. You let him call you coward. You let him think that he was justified in his actions, and you let him sit in the very place he committed that crime against the gods and the people of Rome! I wanted to scream today. I wanted to scream: “It is not only the people of Rome, but the people of the WORLD who look to you now! What will they think?”
I understand that there are important issues at hand such as who is left to run the state now that Caesar is gone and what should be done with the conspirators, but Caesar’s body lies bloody and unburied. And all you can do is waste time debating nonsense and lugging your useless bodies from one side of the Senate House to the other. You stand there, casting your votes, but you do NOT speak! Would I were able to speak for you! I ask you, stand in my place. Learn what it is not to have a voice! Then maybe you will learn how to use it. I am not trying to dishonor you. I am just looking out for the honor of the dead Caesar. You are strong, intelligent, and able men. Unite on at least this one issue and push forward towards settling the people of Rome and bettering the lives of all within her!

Goodbye Lover, Teacher, and Dignified Leader

Friends, senators, and fellow mourners,
I know I am a lowly client queen and my words may fall short of your noble ears, but I must speak in defense of the honor of a lover, teacher, and dignified leader. Over the past few years, Caesar has taught me a great deal and I have gained a lot of respect and admiration for this state; I would not want to see it harmed. Committing such an ill-planned and gruesome crime was probably one of the worst things that could have been done in Rome at this time. Look around! When a city is recovering from an internal conflict and moving steadily towards rebuilding and prosperity, finally starting to stand on two feet again, one does NOT aim to break her once more at the knees and rip out her heart. Without Caesar, what support do the people have to stand on? Without the backing of the people, what do these conspirators intend to accomplish?
Caesar’s death has not only shaken this great city; it has shaken the world. What will the people of various provinces think when they get word that Rome is tearing herself apart from within? What will they think of Roman citizens, who are supposed to represent this noble and civilized state, slaughtering one another? No matter what the reason for internal conflict may be, Rome must continue to look unified and strong in the eyes of the rest of the world. With all of this chaos within, it cannot afford having to deal with revolt in the surrounding lands. I offer friendship to Rome, but I cannot speak for others.
By honoring Caesar and giving him a proper and public funeral it will send a more comforting message to not only the people of the world, but also the people of Rome. If the decision is made to treat Caesar as if he were some common criminal, what sort of respect will foreign states have for the decision making of the Senate of Rome (for it was not Caesar who made himself perpetual dictator)? Senators, unite, and do not make the mistake of allowing anyone to question your abilities as leaders. The people in this city, though great in number, are few compared to the many eyes that look to you now from around the world. Give Caesar the honor he deserves as a leader of a great state and the representative of its people.
I feel as though there is now a void, an unfulfilled potential. Caesar had great plans to help rebuild and better Rome, but he was cut off from carrying out those plans. I think it will also be necessary to address them, if we wish to honor his memory and uphold his place in the hearts and minds of all as an important and successful leader he was and could have continued to be.
I cannot say what I think you should do with the conspirators, those scheming men who killed a strong, brave, loyal, and legitimate leader, but I know what I would have done had such a heinous crime been committed in my country…

On Recent Events and the Body They Have Made

Noble senators, we have been through the most unique and troubling events of late. We have been witness to the death of our chosen dictator Gaius Julius Caesar. I was stunned when I realized what was happening at a meeting within a temple, much less a meeting of the senate. To see my fellow senators, men of rank among the community, taking turns stabbing a man we had elected dictator nauseated me. I unable to say what is to come from these actions, but I must hope that what has already come to pass was for good so the Empire does not suffer from our actions.

We must now help decide what must be done with his body. I am sure many of you will have your own opinions; some will think he deserves great honors while others may perceive him to be a criminal. However, do not let your thoughts and opinions of Julius in life sway your opinion of what should happen to him in death, for in death he is just like any other man we have chosen to lead us. Every man in this vast Empire is brought to the same end when it comes to death. We are all victim to the desires of the gods and fates. However, once we die every man must hope that his memory will be honored. We should honor Julius’ memory and not defile it by abusing the body of a man who would not even retain the knowledge of what we had done. I for one would take no part in such hideous and malign actions. And as for anyone who would be involved, may the gods show no mercy to you when your time arrives and destiny decides that it is you who should perish. I believe we should honor his death as he was, as a leader of our great Empire. It would do no honor to Rome for us to take her leader and treat him as a common criminal. Let us not forget, wise senators, Julius was a leader of the people, in order that we should avoid repeating certain events which we should all well remember. The people would not think kindly of us if we should be too harsh in our dealings on this matter. Let us set aside old grudges and harsh feelings, so that we may do what is proper. My proposal is to do what is right for Rome, let us hold a public funeral so that the people of Rome may come to pay their respects. For those of you who do not believe the funeral should be public because the body may be harmed, we should provide a guard to watch over the body and keep it from being defiled. This funeral should hold all the honors of a man who dedicated his life to serving Rome. These arrangements should include funeral games in honor of Julius’ service to the greatest of nations. This will help appease the populace and ensure that there are no ensuing revolts. All things considered, we should hold the funeral soon so that we may move past these events and consider what we must do for the future of Rome. If we wish to remain in control of the Empire we must establish the fact that even though Julius’ is dead, Rome is still as strong as ever.

Notes of a Soldier

I come to you, O conscript fathers, not as an eloquent senator, learned in the skills of oratory and rhetoric, but as a loyal Roman general of humble beginnings. Many of you probably believe I am unworthy to speak before such an educated body, but the battlefield teaches one lessons formal education can. It is said that unbridled emotion and passion are the worst enemies of justice and judgment. Therefore I will allay my personal feelings for the purposes of this speech and for the purposes of better judgment. Only if some of my contemporaries could claim the same!

Gaius Julius Caesar was a man of the plebs, a man of clemency, and most importantly, a man of Rome. I will always retain an unparalleled respect for our slain leader and my personal mentor and friend. He rewarded my talents and undying devotion to Rome by appointing me to the post of senator. Caesar’s devotion, rather obsession with the greatness of Rome, led Caesar to institute a policy of clemency that ultimately led to his demise as you men know. O the irony in clemency being the ultimate cause of death! Cicero, you championed his policies only months before as he absolved the past grievances between you, but now you revel in his assassination. How fickle you can be in with your emotions! Despite the hollow remarks of his murderers, many of whom are amongst us now, Caesar was no tyrant. His policies aimed to enrich our lives and the glory of Rome, and his burial should reflect his noble purposes.

Being a man who has witnessed countless Roman men of meager birth commit the ultimate sacrifice for their country, I have little toleration for deceit and cowardice. I also have little toleration for disgracing the body of a fallen Roman soldier and general. Conspirators, you have tarnished your names and your Republican ideals beyond restoration, what drives you to further disgrace yourselves? The people of Rome have adequately voiced their opinion of your deceitful act, or maybe it was their lack of voice when you hurried to the Capitol expecting to be herald as “liberators.” O how silly you all must have felt! The silence was deafening! If you conspirators, and most importantly your Republican ideals, wish to retain any shred of credibility, it is your obligation to give Caesar a proper burial ceremony.

I beseech the question to those advocating anything less than a proper Roman burial, what alternatives does you suggest? If Caesar’s body is deemed unworthy of a proper burial, I shudder to think of what will be done with the bodies of the conspirators. Alas, I shudder to think of what shall be done to my body, as I surely will never contend with the glory Caesar brought to Rome. We need to unite as a body and attempt to preserve our integrity by granting Caesar a burial procession suitable for a man of his stature.

Patricide!

Patricide, Patricide! Do you not hear it? The cry of Rome? There is one among us who even now thirsts for blood. That one yet seeks to thrust his blade even deeper into Rome’s heart. Listen! Can you not hear her screaming? Can you not see the chaos? Do you not all taste the fear that any among us might be next? And all this madness falls not at the feet of some barbarian army, nor even some wanton renegade, but one who sits among us still. One who after bearing iron against Rome on the consecrated grounds of the senate assembly sits still in her senate to murmur malicious advice in our ears. What do you advise next? Should you slice into me next? Into Lepidus? Into Cicero? What sick scheme now conspires within your damaged brain? No, I think your methods far to slow, if we continue to allow you to run rampant let us rather simply lock the doors and set fire to this building. Surely it would kill us no faster than the course you have set us on now. Perhaps the gods would look favorably on such a sacrifice and spare the rebellious tragedy you try to pull down on all our heads. Or maybe even all our blood can not avert the looming storm. No, I say the blood of only one other needs now to spill. Indeed, were it within my authority then You! Murderer! Would already be begging Caesar’s forgiveness at his feet in Hades’ house.

Brutus! You deem to call yourself liberator after this vile act of violence. Liberator of Rome? You have liberated us from nothing but peace, nothing but clemency, nothing but order. You liberated us from that greatest of men, father of the people, once father of Rome, and once a father to us both. The true liberator is the man now lying dead, he liberated us from that civil war, from the threat of Gauls, from banishment and tyranny. So many of us received his clemency, aid, prosperity, and status under his direction. So many of us received so much, and for your paranoia you liberated all of us from his coming age of prosperity. Hail, Hail to the liberator.

Let me count the ways you continue to threaten Rome. Her people now wail, lost, angry, and leaderless. Her people panic because their beloved champion can conquer no more foes. Her people rove yearning to say goodnight and goodbye to their hero. Her senate toils like an upturned anthill. Her senate quakes for fear of another bloodbath. Her senate stumbles without that noblest leader. Her senate now needs to unify in these things we must do for the people, and to appease the people to secure ourselves.

We must clean this bloody mess, must sanctify what you’ve corrupted. So we shall settle the both people and our mourning hearts. We shall publicly commission Caesar into the earth. We must honor our fallen leader lest you wish the finely chained chaos lurking in the mind of the mob unleashed. Not only can we begin working towards a safer Rome this way, but Caesar deserves the burial he earned, and his people deserve the opportunity to bury him. All of Rome lost her lord and all of Rome will see him interred.

Once that most important task lies buried, then we must immediately turn our attention to the conspirator. And Oh! How I wish that duty would be mine, but alas, I will not contribute to this madness and bloodshed you incited with more careless killing. A court of just Roman law shares that duty with its jurors. As a citizen we will afford you the right to trial you so carelessly denied Caesar. You will have the chance to defend yourself that Caesar did not. And when you stand facing your fate it will be before many considerate men of a jury, not before many thoughtless men bearing daggers, maliciousness, and foolishness.

Marcus Antonius